Rupert Murdoch attacked at Parliamentary Committee

Quite extraordinary, before my very eyes a chap just tried to attack Rupert Murdoch in a Parliamentary Committee.

Don’t think he got within 10 yards, to be fair, but all the same.

James Murdoch stammering somewhat as he gives evidence. ‘We have to have journalists who operate to the highest possible standards...’

Well, up to a point Lord Copper.

Inquisitor in chief Ms Mensch, who is pretty flinty eyed at the best of times, is doing rather well at grilling the Murdochs. James looks a bit like a kid who’s been called before the headmistress because a stash of donkey porn has been discovered in his tuck box.

La Mensch to Rupert: ‘You are in charge of the ship... This terrible thing happened on your watch. Have you considered resigning?’

Rupert’s having none of that. ‘I’m the best person to sort this out,’ quoth he.

Meanwhile his gorgeous, pouting Thai bride looks on - having intercepted the assailant.

And a little extract from Murdoch’s closing address: ‘I would like all the victims of phone hacking to know how deeply sorry I am... I fully understand their ire... We now know that things went badly wrong at the NOTW. Paying police officers is wrong. Saying sorry is not enough. Things must be put right. No excuses.’

Big words, but how far has the rot spread? Can’t be just NOTW.

NOTW Sean Hoare found dead - was he murdered?

That is the question that lots of people will be asking.

After the past few days you start to wonder whether you’re suddenly watching one of the Godfather movies.

Hoare, a former NOTW showbiz reporter who was the first to suggest phone hacking was endemic at the News of the World, had issues with drink and drugs, it has been reported. This was partly a result of the fact that his job demanded he spent his nights carousing with rock stars in order to get stories.

Also today the rather weird story of Rebekah Brooks’ bag (or her husband’s bag, or someone’s bag) being found in a bin in a luxury condo in Chelsea.

It was then handed to police, allegedly much to Charlie Brooks’ chagrin. Not sure whether Charlie should worry too much, even if there is donkey porn on there. The way things are going it will be a police superintendent and a leading Tory politician spit-roasting the forlornly braying beast and it will be quietly hushed up.

The donkey, meanwhile, will be found face down in the Manchester ship canal.

And on the subject of leading Tories... ’tis very quiet out there. Not much from Gideon or Billy the Haig at the minute. Heads being kept below the parapet until barrage blows over.

People power stirs to stump Rupert Murdoch

Who would have believed a couple of weeks ago that politicians would be distancing themselves from Rupert Murdoch as fast as they could?

Many ordinary citizens will be delighted that Rupert Murdoch’s grip on the UK media has been slightly loosened.

What has also been made clear from the whole business, however, is just how hand-in-glove the UK’s top politicians are with the media execs – and it has not proved a very enlightening sight.

Indeed, David Cameron’s attempts to tar the entire media with the News of the World brush was pretty poor.

Gordon Brown’s righteous indignation is also pretty hard to swallow, given how he and Tony Blair got so cozy with Murdoch when they were in charge.

Rebekah Brooks and David Cameron: a bad business

David Cameron has confidence born of never having had to deal with failure, I feel.

Even when he’s getting dragged into the News of the World scandal he’s got something about him which suggests he knows that he’s getting away scot-free from all this.

Is he, though? He is obviously exceeding close to Rebekah Brooks, and that can’t be good. His call that she resign looks like a man struggling to get rid of an albatross.

The longer she stays in her job, the worse she looks (not to mention Cameron) and the more the public starts to question the links between the government (past and present) and News International.

If the government presses on with allowing NewsCorp to take over BSkyB outright it will confirm that there is something deeply unpleasant afoot.

BP boss Tony Hayward returns with Vallares

I notice the former BP chief Tony Hayward has overcome any issues with the Gulf of Mexico oil spill and is set to be back in the money.

Specifically, he hopes to raise £1bn from the London listing of Vallares, his new oil and gas joint venture

The Guardian reports that Hayward has received early financial backing from institutional investors, hedge funds and sovereign wealth funds; some of whose owners may be his old pals from school or business school, perhaps.

The paper adds that this new venture plans to use the money raised on the London market to buy into an oil and gas company in need of capital, with a value of up to £8bn. But instead of buying the company, Vallares will offer shares in itself and therefore give the company access to the global financial markets.

‘We will be offering a short-cut to an IPO [initial public offering],’ said Hayward, ‘for maybe a family-owned business, which has access to good resources but not capital. Merging with us would offer access to capability, capital and credibility.’

Not entirely sure about the last word there, but let’s not quibble.

Key to proceedings is hedge fund manager Nat Rothschild, part of the long-standing banking dynasty.

He said: ‘I am delighted to be partnering with Tony Hayward, whom I have known for many years, on this exciting new venture. Together, we believe the company is well positioned to capture value in a sector with attractive fundamental supply-demand dynamics.’

Expect the cash to say in the same few hands, then.

News of the World allegedly ‘hacks Dowler phone’

Even cynical media folks have taken a sharp intake of breath at the latest allegations concerning the News of the World hacking Milly Dowler’s phone.

This is a genuinely shocking story and it cannot be the activity just of a rogue reporter and/or a private detective.

There has to be a very strong suspicion that the order has come down from on high for the phone to be hacked. Who exactly ‘on high’ is remains to be seen, indeed we may never know. However, there has to be at least a possibility that it was the then-editor, Rebekah Brooks.

Brooks would not have won many popularity contests anyway, but she is certainly well connected and now very senior in News International.

Does that make her untouchable? Maybe. There is no doubt England’s politicians are scared to death of Rupert Murdoch’s organisation so a senior figure carrying this particular can still seems less than likely.

There has to be a suspicion, though, that the News of the World was using phone hacking as a tool in many circumstances.

Should be an interesting few days.

Burkhas and beard cricket

I’m reliably informed that a new and peculiar pastime is sweeping across the UK.

It is based on the popular game of beard cricket, which has devotees across the country and which involves scoring runs (as in cricket) when you see a beard.

Generally beard cricket’s rules are something like this:

Heavy stubble: 1 run
Sideburns: 1-3 runs, depending on their expanse
Goatee: 1-3 runs (as above)
Full beard: 4 runs
Massive, santa beard: 6 runs

Moustache: a wicket falls.

The player continues their innings, amassing runs, until 10 wickets have fallen.

Burkha cricket operates under the same general principles.

Woman wearing a headscarf as fashion accessory: 1 run
Child wearing headscarf for religious purposes: 2 runs
Woman wearing headscarf for religious purposes: 4 runs
Woman wearing full, burkha-style, dress with just eyes showing: 6 runs

Wickets fall whenever the player sees a really short skirt of pair of short shorts being worn by a woman. There is an element of umpire judgement to this, but a shortish skirt isn’t good enough. A wicket requires the sort of thing that would send the Taliban into furious rage, not just leave them mildly annoyed.

The game is clearly very much dependent on the pitch conditions.

Driving through Whitechapel at the weekend I amassed a total of 535-5 declared.

Jack Wilshire ‘yellow-bellied, white feather wearer’

Arsenal footballer Jack Wilshere has been branded a ‘back-sliding, champagne quaffing, surrender monkey’ by a hard-core element of Gunners’ fans.

The allegations have surfaced following the midfielder’s involvement in a nightclub fracas.

He is alleged to have suggested to a woman that she should come with him and a group of his friends because they had lots of money and could promise her ‘a good, hard roasting’.

Slightly rashly, he did this in front of her boyfriend and several of his associates.

Some argy-bargy ensued, with Wilshere allegedly grabbing hold of one of the opposing faction before beating a hasty retreat as it ‘all kicked off’.

George de Vere, of ultra Arsenal supporters group the Heavy Artillery, said: ‘That Willshere is a disgrace. What’s wrong with him? Is he French?’

Polar bear shot in Iceland

One has to feel some sympathy for the polar bear that was recently shot in Iceland.

After a 200-mile swim in near-freezing waters, the bear had just made it ashore, at Skagafjordur, and was no doubt dreaming of feasting on disgraced bankers, puffins and rancid shark, when it was terminated with extreme prejudice.

Icelandic police spokesman Petur Bjornsson said: ‘There was fog up in the hills and we took the decision to kill the bear before it could disappear into the fog.’

Apparently the animal could not be tranquilised because it would have taken 24 hours for the tranquiliser to arrive.

However, a vet in the town of Blönduó, Egill Steingrímsson, said he had drugs capable of immobilising the bear in the boot of his car. 'If the narcotics gun would have been sent by plane, it would have arrived within an hour. They could keep tabs on the bear for that long,’ he said.

One problem the police had was that around 60 people had gathered on a mountain road to watch the bear land. When the animal started heading towards these adrenaline-loving citizens the police had to act or let the bear eat its fill of tasty Icelanders.

The first record of a polar bear arriving in Iceland dates to 890, 16 years after the first settlers arrived.

That animal was killed by arrows fired by two Vikings, Ragnar the Swift and Olaf the Jumpy, who later used its fur to make linings for helmets.

Dominique Strauss-Kahn released but sex pest tag lingers

It isn’t a surprise to see Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been released without bail following revelations about the maid whom is alleged to have sexually assaulted.

That does not seem like the end of the story, however. Various rumours circulating, both about the maid’s background and associates, that have damaged the case for the prosecution. Also more than a hint that her family has been coerced in a bid to get the charges dropped.

The maid’s lawyer, Kenneth Thompson, has hit back saying that Strauss-Kahn’s defence is that sex was consenual - which he says is a lie.

Judging by what else has come out about Strauss-Kahn’s idea of what constitutes any sort of encounter with the opposite sex that seems very plausible.

Here is a wealthy banker who thinks that because he is rich and powerful he is above both conventional morality and the law. He is not alone in that.

Strauss-Kahn appears to be merely a purveyor of droit de seigneur (when a medieval lord could demand sex with the wives of his serfs, among other things) in modern dress.

The case is also an example of how certain wealthy people like Strauss-Kahn view the likes of chamber maids and many others - as serfs, only worth bothering with to provide an outlet for their overcharged sex drive.

Regardless of today’s developments, Strauss-Kahn is not vindicated.