Iranian scientist killed in Tehran 'by Mossad'

Dangerous job being an Iranian nuclear scientist these days.

Israel and the US appear to have decided that Iran having nuclear weapons would be really bad news (and they've probably got a point).

Mossad has allegedly recruited Iranian dissidents to help carry out sabotage and assassination activities and it may have been one of them who clamped the magnetic bomb to Mostafa Ahmadi-Roshan’s car.

The bomb duly exploded killing Mostafa and his driver, Mustafa.

The car, the BBC reports, was barely damaged, suffering just slight scratches to the paintwork, a dented door and broken glass.

The Iranians are blaming Mossad and the CIA for the attack (and they've probably got a point).

Little Chef to close 70 restaurants

Could this be the end of the road for Little Chef?

Today I discover, from The Sun, as it happens, that the iconic restaurant chain is to close 70 of its restaurants and cut around 600 staff.

If that happens it will leave 91 restaurants and counting (down, for sure).

So much for Heston Blumenthal and the Blue Sky Thinking. Though I remember Heston looking pretty horror-struck about various aspects of the business then.

And farewell to those 1970s/80s ads where a rather sinister Little Chef would loom out at passers by offering them an Early Starter or Steak Platter.

In the end Little Chef is one of those brands, in my humble opinion, that feels as though its time has passed. There’s a certain whiff of doom about it. Over-priced, a bit tawdry, stuck in a rut, unsure of who its market is... a bit (with the exception of the price bit) like Woolworths used to be before its demise.

Is Diane Abbott racist?

Is Diane Abbott racist? Is the whole business of her twittering a storm in a teacup? Should we be bothered anyway?

One thing is for sure. Had a politician tweeted about the supposed failings of 'black people' they wouldn't half be in hot water.

More than that, though, Abbott's tweet shows, in my humble opinion, how small minded and foolish she is. To be banging on about, as she says she was, the failings of colonialism and how the colonial powers divided and ruled... How relevant is that to the situation we face in the UK today? Not very, I suggest.

Sure, colonialism wasn't a good thing. Then again, what has followed it in countries such as Uganda, Rwanda, DRC, Central African Republic, Angola, etc, etc hasn't been exactly brilliant.

It probably doesn't matter too much if it's the colonial askaris who come looking for you with their shiny bayonets or your erstwhile neighbours hunting you down with their machetes.

And as for the slave trade, anyone who thinks that was purely a white on black crime should read a history book or two. Or just google the words 'Ashanti Empire' and see what they find.

At a time when it would be helpful if we were all in something together - ie rescuing the UK from its plight – it is unhelpful for Ms Abbott to be blathering on with the language of black and white.

To see her backed by the increasingly odd Darcus Howe on Newsnight was just plain depressing. His language seemed to be of a different era - trying to convince an ever-more colour-blind country that we should really be at each others' throats.

It seemed to me to be bizarre and regressive. Like Ms Abbott in a way.

UK report says looters should be shot

A report into this summer's UK riots suggests police should be able to use live ammunition to stop unrest.

Police Unions are believed also to be asking for clarification of what to do about people they find looting the public purse and robbing the public to finance their own grotesque bonuses.

'Our members are waiting for the go-ahead to shoot bankers on sight,' said a spokesperson.

'The police aren't that popular at the moment, but if we can persuade the government to let us gun down some of those greedy, corrupt, self-serving parasites it should make a huge difference.

'Just imagine if there was open season on Goldman Sachs... The punters would love it.'

He added that citizens across the UK thought that pocketing a huge bonus for wrecking the economy was more serious than stealing a pair of trainers.

Wanting to lighten the mood, the spokesmen continued: 'Have you heard this one? A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. As he tried it on, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he found none. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "You're a banker, right?" The young man answered, "Yes, I am." "Well, whoever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"

'Basically, bankers need shooting,' he added. 'Everyone knows that. In what other industry could you cause a complete disaster and end up getting paid shed loads of taxpayers' money?

'Time to polish up the Bren gun, I think.'

Saudi Arabia executes woman for sorcery offences

The Saudi authorities have executed a woman accused of sorcery.

The London-based al-Hayat newspaper quoted Abdullah al-Mohsen, chief of the religious police who arrested the woman, as saying she had tricked people into thinking she could treat illnesses, charging them $800 (£500) per session.

The alleged witch was tried according to Saudi law, he added.

Initially she was forced into single combat with a specially trained satan-seeking goat in a public square in Jeddah.

Armed with a broom (symbolic of her supposed crime brushing money out of people's pockets) she attempted to hold off the demon-sniffing beast.

This she managed to do.

However, the authorities believed the goat may itself have been influenced by Beelzebub and it was later questioned and, when its answers were deemed inadequate, was stoned to death.

The accused sorceress, meanwhile, was re-arrested and the charge of bribing a religious police goat was added to her list of supposed offences.

She was then placed in the official ducking stool and plunged headfirst into a river. She was unable to free herself and was therefore deemed guilty as charged.

The execution brings the total to 76 this year in Saudi Arabia.

In September, a Sudanese man, Abdul Hamid bin Hussain bin Moustafa al-Fakki, was also put to death in Saudi Arabia for sorcery.

MP Andrew Robathan rejects Arctic Convoy medal

Tory defence minister Andrew Robathan has outraged Arctic Convoy veterans by suggesting that to award them a medal for their efforts would be akin to some Ruritarian regime handing out gongs for cookery.

The MP suggested that Britain only awarded medals for 'risk and rigour'.

So nothing doing if all you did was sail across freezing seas dodging dive-bombers and U-boats to keep the Red Army supplied in its fight against the Nazis.

Mr Robathan, tucked up in cosy Whitehall with the heating turned up and a nice cup of steaming cocoa, should perhaps bear in mind that more than 3,000 UK sailors died on the Artic convoys.

Of 1,400 ships on the 78 convoys that passed through seas where temperatures were as low as -60*C, 85 merchant and 16 Royal Navy were sunk between 1941 and 1945.

Despite the Tories promising in opposition to strike an Arctic Star when they won power, ministers have so far chosen not to do so; probably too busy working out how much their pensions will be.

Russia, meanwhile, has awarded commemorative medals to the veterans – only around 200 of whom are still alive.

Mr Robathan added: 'The intention post-war was not to cover everybody in medals. Medals in the UK mean something.

'Authoritarian regimes and dictators often throw around a lot of medals. One can look, for instance, at North Korean generals who are covered in medal ribbon, or Gaddafi, or Saddam Hussein.

'Generals in the Soviet Army were covered in medals.

'We have taken the view in this country, traditionally, that medals will only awarded for campaigns that show risk and rigour. Some regimes give out very large numbers of medals wheras we traditionally do not.'

Leading Seaman Stanley Ballard, 89, from South Croydon, who served on the Royal Navy frigate HMS Cotton on Artic Convoys, said: 'To compare us to Gaddafi was as good as slapping us in the face.'

Contortionist Zlata and her splendid 2012 calendar

Thank goodness for Zlata. The Russian contortionist has recently released her 2012 calendar and it is a suitably wondrous thing.

This talented young lady has got herself into 12 intriguing poses for each month of the year, ranging from performing eye-watering splits in the garden to cooking in the kitchen with her leg over her head.

For March, Zlata dons a Marie-Antoinette-style wig, folds her legs over her shoulders and toys with a bunch of grapes (above). September sees her checking her high-heels in a novel mannner on a railway platform (below) while in December you will find her doubled over in bed in a slinky black number.

The former gymnast, whose real name is Julia Gunthel, now lives in Germany and last month won a Guinness World record for the fastest time to burst three balloons with her back, which she did in 12 seconds.

One of her favourite tricks is bending herself backwards at a perfect 90 degree angle, so the back half of her hands touch her feet.

Zlata said: ‘Doing these poses just feels natural to me. Sometimes it can get a bit uncomfortable if I have to hold a pose for a long time in photoshoots.

‘But I think that’s like anyone who sits down for a long time – their muscles get stiff.

‘I don’t really diet but I have to train very hard to keep my muscles in shape and to be as flexible as possible.’

Zlata's 2012 calendar is entitled 'Never Has Flexibility Been So Fascinating'.