More con than Conway, pt2

In a further fit of pique I just googled Henry Conway and found this rather excellent piece by Monique Webber, written in the Times.

It’s on the subject of Choffs - Chavs who think they’re toffs.


‘Nothing, however, quite compares to the deluded decadence of Henry Conway, son of the disgraced Tory MP Derek Conway, who once threw a F*** Off I’m Rich party in a Chelsea nightclub and describes himself as “blond, bouncy and one for the boys”.


HOW TO SPOT A CHOFF [according to Monique]

Wears a signet ring slightly too shiny to have been inherited. Actually, wears any kind of signet ring at all. Has acquired an accent that sounds entirely different to the rest of the family, who all live up north. Obsessed with Brideshead Revisited and Anthony Trollope. Is described by friends as being OANAL (Oxbridge Attitude, No A-levels). Asks what you’re doing “this season”. Looks for new Facebook friends in Tatler.

Attends Chinawhite’s Rock the Polo event religiously, but fails to get into the Cartier tent for tea. Used marriage as an excuse to adopt a double-barrelled surname. Bristles when confronted with someone who went to a public school of higher status. Shops at Smythson, has applied for planning permission for a roof wind turbine and hangs out in Notting Hill in the hope of bumping into Dave’n’Sam.‘