Max Clifford knows where the bodies are buried

One wonders how many celebs have confided in Max Clifford about their goings-on.

He seems to have given more than one interview in recent weeks on the subject of anxious celebs.

And then he’s being questioned himself.

In the wake of Stuart Hall and DLT you wonder who will be next.

Who else was big in TV and radio in the 1970s and 1980s?

Could be the whole lot of them.

Autumn Budget Statement: what it means for you

London, December 1876.

From our parliamentary reporter

Sir Gideon Osborne today revealed his latest financial plans to a packed House of Commons.

‘These workshy paupers need to take their medicine,’ he said – to widespread applause from the government benches.

‘For too long, the unworthy poor have been too eager to shirk their responsibilities.

‘All they do is moan on about rickets, drink Porter, grub about on the banks of the Thames looking for scraps of coal and get disemboweled by serial killers.

‘Frankly, it’s just not good enough.’

Sir Gideon went on to say: ‘When I was at Eton I didn’t get to be a member of Pop by hiding in the toilets and playing with my Old Chap. I knuckled down, got myself down to double Greek and learned how to play the cover drive – even when De Lancy (Major) was coming in off his full run-up.

There were general murmurs of agreement at this point and several members nodded approvingly at the mention of Bernard De Lancy (Sussex and England) and showed off scars gained while playing cricket against him at Eton.

Warming to his theme Sir Gideon added: ‘Let’s stop beating about the bush. The poor smell, they’re covered in pus-filled sores, their teeth are revolting and they couldn’t tell Theseus from Perseus in a million years.’

To rapturous applause he climaxed: ‘Of course, though, we’re all in this together.’

Duchess Kate is pregnant. Rejoice, people of Britain

So Princess Katie is pregnant.

The tabloid press (and the Daily Telegraph) has its lead story and all is well with the world.

Or not.

While congratulations are no doubt in order on a personal basis, should we really care about Katie being up the royal duff?

No. Absolutely not. This isn’t 1335. If the monarch to be doesn't have an heir it isn't going to throw the nation into civil war. And this grovelling fixation with the royals is, frankly, grotesque.

Britain needs to start looking forward a bit more. The last thing it needs is to have another class-system-confirming obsession with Princess Katie’s morning vomiting.

Let's have a bit more focusing on schools, opportunities and competing in the modern world and a bit less medieval claptrap about the activities of the royal pizzle.